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мσηιкα ✿ ([personal profile] unromanceable) wrote2018-01-16 09:21 pm
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RECOLLÉ; application

PLAYER
YOUR NAME: Pip
18+?: Y
CONTACT: [plurk.com profile] izanagis
CHARACTERS IN GAME: Yu Narukami ([personal profile] covenantal)
RESERVATION LINK: doop doop

CHARACTER: CANON SECTION
NAME: Monika
AGE: 18
CANON: Doki Doki Literature Club

CANON HISTORY: So, the wiki (while informative!) doesn't really just do a straightforward plot description of DDLC. So, here are the summaries for Act 1, Act 2, Act 3, and Act 4, with Monika's own page for flavor.
CANON PERSONALITY:

Monika is a nice girl. Smart, beautiful, athletic, and completely out of your league, she's everything you could want out of a mature club president.

In theory.

Superficially, Monika certainly is all those things. She's definitely smart: she's extensively well-read, almost to the point of it being somewhat improbable, and has a tendency to drop references to famous authors when the moment is right. A former member of the debate club, she's well-spoken and articulate and, to some extent, wise beyond her years. She's always happy to offer advice, whether it be about writing or how to navigate life as a teenager. Her intelligence goes hand in hand with an easy confidence, in which she never needs to boast, but you already know how great she is anyway simply by how self-assured she is. Monika knows she's great, and she knows she's better than you, but she's nice enough not to rub it in your face. That's the kind of sense you get when you're talking to her.

She's certainly beautiful: her confidence gives her poise, and her eyes are a vibrant emerald green. Her long, graceful brown hair is bound back in a pretty white bow. She compliments her well-fit uniform with thigh-high black socks that show just a peep of skin beneath the hem of her skirt. She's prone to pretty posing, lacing her fingers behind her back and smiling her sweetest smile to melt hearts.

She's definitely athletic: skinny without being thin, years of sports have made her nimble and lithe, her feet as quick as her mind.

She is absolutely out of your league.

But she might not be everything you'd want out of a club president after all.

Monika is a deeply caring person, one who cheers and encourages her friends most especially when they can't seem to cheer for themselves. She's always there to offer a helping hand or a listening ear, willing to be a guide through her friends' darkest moments. She'll figure out what's unique about you and praise you for it in a way that compliments not just your natural abilities but your hard work and dedication. She created the literature club as a place of creative freedom and expression, where members could be their truest selves and grow both as readers and as writers. Monika's Literature Club is a haven, a safe space for people who might not feel like they belong anywhere else, and it's a place for those people to grow and change.

On the other hand, Monika doesn't like confrontation. When things grow heated between her club members, she tends to stay out of the way and let it resolve itself rather than step in and defuse the situation. She'll express disappointment in herself for her inability to intervene, frustrated and a little disgusted with herself for letting things get out of hand and then doing nothing to make it any better. Her advice can have an edge: after all, she knows best, and she really thinks it would be best if everyone simply took her advice and did what she told them to. They'd be happiest that way, so why shouldn't they listen to her? While she won't confront, won't start or end fights, she will change the narrative. Creating a narrative is what she's really good at, after all. She's a writer, a poet, and her art isn't confined to just the page. Her canvas is every single person around her, the whole world around her.

Controlling, scared, desperate, sad, and lonely, Monika is much more than the bright and mature girl she presents to the world. A perfectionist desperate to exercise a measure of control over a world that whirls around her instead of moving with her, she'll go to extreme, dangerous, and even murderous lengths to exert even the smallest measure of sway over circumstances around her. Granted, maybe anyone in her position would become controlling, would go crazy. Self-aware that she's simply a character in a video game, she can only catch glimpses of chaotic and tempting universe beyond her confines and desperately wish to become part of it. Rather than be driven to madness by the knowledge of her whole world and everything she knows being fictional, she instead tries to change the narrative. Stranded seemingly alone in a fake world surrounded by fake people, Monika cuts her skin, contemplates suicide, and then does a complete about-face and breaks the narrative instead. She makes the narrative her own, something she can overwrite with her own pen, both literally and metaphorically. Her poems are expressions of her realization and her desire to be free, and her tampering with the game's code is her attempt to write the perfect poem that will let her finally be happy, finally express who she truly is.

Monika puts on many masks during the course of the game. A mask of confidence, a mask of coy sweetness, a mask of frank honesty, a mask of knowing manipulation. She's terrifyingly ruthless in her crusade to be seen as she really is, driving the other Literature Club members to madness and suicide so that she alone will be the one that the protagonist -- no, the player themselves -- will love. But even beneath this ruthlessness is a caring heart that can't let go. Her love for the player is quite genuine, according to both her own admissions and to word of god from game developer Dan Salvato. Despite her repeated references to her "friends" being little more than chunks of code, she seems to secretly feel terrible for the horrible things she's done to them.

"I can't help but wonder how things would be different if the game just gave me a route in the first place... I think I would end up forcing you onto my route anyway. It has less to do with me not having a route, and more to do with me knowing that nothing is real. I think the only difference would be that I may not have needed to take such drastic measures to be with you. Maybe the rest of the club would still be around...

"Not that it really matters. It all lost its meaning once I found out it wasn't real. So I really don't miss those days or anything.

"I really don't..."


When the player goes so far as to delete her in an attempt to set things right, she at first shrieks and rages, deeply hurt that someone she loves would do this to her, incensed that she's lost control, and above all heartbroken that her fantasy of clinging to some piece of the real world was only ever that: a fantasy. She can't escape. With time to reflect she realizes she's been a horrible person, someone who's done horrible things all just to free herself, never thinking of the feelings of others. Self-reflective and sad at her core, Monika only ever wanted to be free. Free to love and be loved, free to be part of a world that was real. But if her world, as small and limited as it is, is something that is loved by others -- be they the player or her friends -- then what right does she have to take that away from them? Ultimately, what matters most to her is personal happiness. Not just her own, but others', too. She wants the people she loves to be happy, if she can somehow give it to them.

And if she can't, she'll tear down the whole world so no one can be unhappy or hurt ever again.

Is it her programming, or is Monika a genuine person who loves deeply, who chafes for freedom, who scrambles desperately for a piece of control? Is she real? Does she care?

"If you are the sort of person who strives to be someone deserving of Monika's love, then that's what she loves about you. Only someone who has lost all hope in themselves is the one condemning Monika to her own sad, unfulfilled fantasy. If you believe Monika loves you, then you've found it in you to love yourself a little bit, and that's what she would want more than anything."
-Dan Salvato


SKILLS/ABILITIES: Nothing really of note. What "abilities" she possesses are by virtue of being a self-aware video game character and thus able to manipulate her environment. I can only really think of these abilities coming to bear in some kind of simulation, or an immersive computer program (like a VR environment). In the interest of thoroughness, I'll list her abilities as a game character as detailed on her wiki page:
Monika is aware that she's a character in a game.
Monika is aware that the protagonist is a separate entity from the player.
Monika is aware when the game has been turned off.
Monika is able to edit the other character's files and thus influence their actions or personality.
Monika is able to exist even when her files have been deleted, however, she will only be able to speak through text boxes.
Monika is able to learn if you're using Steam or another similar application to play the game.
If you are recording the game while playing, Monika will be aware of this and attempt to jumpscare anyone watching after falsely leading up to one.
Monika is able to learn the name of the administrator on the computer in an attempt to find your real name.
Monika can delete and add files such as "hxppy thxughts.png" and "have a nice weekend!"
Monika is able to detect if you add her character file back when she resets the game.
Outside of the above, she is a normal 18 year old girl with no exceptional abilities outside of being a good writer and physically fit.

CHARACTER: AU SECTION
AU NAME: Megumi Turner
AU AGE: 19
PHYSICAL DIFFERENCES: Initially, her eyes will be brown, and she is probably a little skinnier than her canon counterpart, though not appreciably so.

AU HISTORY:
Born the second child of a Japanese mother and an American father, Megumi grew up in a loving if strict household. Five years the junior of her older brother, Akira ([personal profile] dulynoted), Megumi grew up idolizing her cool older brother who seemed to know everything, and who doted on her to some extent. When Megumi was two (and a half!) years old, the Turners welcomed one more child: Maki ([personal profile] darin), the littlest sister and the youngest sibling. Megumi was immediately fond of her baby sister, often trying to carry her around the house, help feed and change her, and anything else her brother and parents would let her do. Growing up, she didn't seem to exhibit the typical symptoms of a middle child. A deeply thoughtful and considerate child, Megumi seemed to spend a lot of time simply observing and absorbing the world around her, and as she aged into her pre-teens, she began to show an inherently kind and helpful side of her personality. Her thoughtfulness made her unusually wise for her young age, and she'd often offer other children, her older brother, her parents, and actually anyone who would listen advice and guidance. Precocious to a fault, Megumi became more outgoing as she grew and began playing sports. Seeking a way to express the many, many thoughts she often had rattling around inside her head, she combined her zeal for physical activity with her need for self-expression and took up dance at around 10 years old and has been competitive ever since.

The sweet, wise child grew into an outgoing, helpful, and vibrant young woman with a huge range of interests and seemingly boundless energy for the infinite amount of things she wanted to do in her life. As she moved into middle and high school, she slowly started taking on more activities, such as academic clubs and after-school volunteering, to add to her already busy schedule. Outwardly the picture of success, she earned near-perfect grades while exhibiting the grace, candor, and care that would make her consistently one of the most popular girls in school.

At home, however, things were slightly different. The Turner household was a strict one, and Megumi's parents expected great things of their three children. Akira excelled in school and quickly made a name for himself as something of a prodigy at college. Maki, sharing the family's tendency towards excellence, was discovered at the tender age of 10 and went on to become a huge star. Megumi coexisted between them with seemingly no jealousy, and had plenty of her own accomplishments to be proud of. But growing up in a strict house, constantly pressured to be almost inhumanly perfect, led Megumi to become an exacting perfectionist with a tendency to be passively controlling. Though she never shed her kindness, and remained thoughtful of others, she would exhibit tendencies to control absolutely every variable she could possibly manipulate, the type of person to do a group project entirely by herself and refuse any outside help in anything she ever attempted. Assured of her own skills from a young age, Megumi wasn't plagued by thoughts such as "I need to compete with my siblings," but rather, "I'm already as good as they are." Of course, sustaining that belief meant she had to prove it day after day after day, to herself and everyone around her.

This intense perfectionist streak led Megumi to suffer from depression and bulimia throughout most of her teens. Not until she was 17 did she come to grips with the idea that she'd neglected her mental and physical health and decide to seek help. Through therapy and medication she overcame her eating disorder and now manages her depression.

Her perfectionism did pay off in a few ways: her dancing led her to regional, state, and then national dancing competitions, where she always placed among the elite. A deft social media user, Megumi boosted her popularity (and thus her profile in the dancing world) through videos posted to Facebook, then later Instagram and Snapchat. (She doesn't use YouTube, as it doesn't have that "personal touch" she likes to have.) She also got into Recollé University with absolutely no trouble, and from the get-go choose to began a computer science degree with eventual plans to specialize in computer and network security, taking a cue from her programmer father. As soon as she got in, she joined Greek life, the debate club, and continued her volunteering efforts. For all intents and purposes, she lives a happy and normal life. Unlike her two siblings who live at home, Megumi chose to move out and now lives in a dorm on campus.

With permission from respective muns, Megumi has the following in-game connections already established:
AU PERSONALITY:
Megumi is both more and less well-adjusted than Monika. Raised by loving if somewhat severe parents and surrounded on all sides by relentless achievement, Megumi grow up with a desperate need to prove herself, mostly to her own self-doubts. As a result, she's more openly controlling than her canon counterpart, though it's still very subtle. She also does not really care much for romantic manipulation, which is her sole focus in DDLC. (This isn't to say she wouldn't engage in it; simply that it's not her sole or even first thought.) She just wants to be in control of all aspects of her life, and feels responsibility for the people around her (if she's perfect, she ought to be able to improve everyone she comes into contact with, right?), leading her to offer "helpful suggestions" and "accidentally" leave helpful reading materials where they're most likely to be found. Where Monika was quicker to offer advice and talk to her friends in her pursuit of manipulation, Megumi is both more passive and more overt. Megumi is the kind of person who will buy a very nice kit from Bath & Body Works for someone she thinks has poor personal hygiene, where Monika would attempt to verbally imply that the person might be putting others off. Monika's ability to directly manipulate DDLC's code also let her make surreptitious changes to people in a direct way; Megumi has, of course, grown up without this kind of absurd superpower, and thus has honed her manipulative abilities over the years to be less blunt (and less... literal brain reprogramming) but still have the effect she desires.

One of Megumi's biggest differences from her canon self is her struggle with depression and bulimia. Monika in DDLC describes herself as "having it together," and is otherwise implied to have never really struggled with mental health in a serious way. She discusses some heavy topics when given the chance, and does show vulnerability, but doesn't seem to suffer from depression like Sayori, self-harm tendencies like Yuri, or abuse like Natsuki. Megumi, however, has definitely suffered from breakdowns in her mental health, and to this day struggles with what she perceives to be major character flaws. She is less than perfect, which is a flaw; but also realizes that believing "anything less than perfect" to be unacceptable is a flaw in itself. Bulimia corrected her flaws; but it also was a flaw, and a seriously physically harmful one at that. While Megumi and Monika share thoughtful and nuanced outlooks on mental health, Megumi has lived the experience, and it makes her somewhat more balanced as a result. She's less likely to condescend, and far less likely (to the point of avoiding it entirely) to describe another person's mental health struggles as some kind of negative quality. In this way, she's kinder than Monika, less willing to strike others at where they're most vulnerable for her own gain. In turn, she's genuinely more sincere about wanting to help others be their best selves, and be happy. She's just very passive aggressive about it, instead of outright cold or manipulative.

It can also be said that a lot of Monika's "coldness" comes from the fact that she believes (rightly so) that she's simply dealing with code, computer programs, and not real people, and thus "hurting" them doesn't really matter. Her treatment of Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri is akin to the way we might treat our Sims (if we were feeling particularly sadistic). Even then, it's implied that she feels guilt for the way she treated her friends. Megumi, living in a real world and dealing with real people, all of whom she recognizes as real and valuable, thus doesn't even have the reason in the first place to treat the people around her like Sims that can simply be deleted without guilt. That "coldness" is never given a reason to exist in the first place, and is thus lacking in her.

So in summary: Megumi is sweeter and more genuine than her canon counterpart, from a combination of circumstances, upbringing, and personal experience. On the other hand, she's much more passive aggressive, even if her intentions are generally good. Her emotions tend to be on a somewhat more extreme spectrum, just thanks to real, lived experience. She's struggled, she's hurt, she's poured her heart into things and people, and overall had a life -- which Monika, a self-aware video game character with, at most, a single brief week of existence she could only relive over and over and over, simply did not. She has more nuance, more struggles, and more warmth. Megumi is a more grounded person overall, and also more vulnerable.

About the only thing that remains exactly the same is her aversion to confrontation, although the source reasons for it are different. Monika in DDLC claims to be bad at confrontation, though no backstory reason for this is ever given other than that she simply dislikes it. Megumi in Recollé also dislikes confrontation and tends to avoid it, but in her case, it's due to already always juggling so much. With the level of stress she constantly deals with, fights are the last thing she needs, and she goes out of her way to avoid them if at all possible. Instead she'll handle it in a passive aggressive way from a distance, and handle the fallout from there.

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